Radical Leadership - A Shepherd's Heart

As I alluded to in the last post ... when it comes to leadership, the topics of healing and brokenness are not exactly trending let alone even part of the conversation.

Yet, I wonder... what if we dared to be vulnerable, speak out and expose our fear and inadequacy in this area?  Maybe we could together stop the rampant burn out rate of incredibly talented leaders. 

And in the process, help some wounded, yet overlooked, gifted sheep along the way?

The Good Shepherd ..."strengthen and heal the sick, care and bring healing to the broken."
Ezekiel 34

Most leaders support those who have a physical illness or who have experienced loss through practical acts of kindness - sending a card, flowers or perhaps arranging a meal.  

However, there is a different type of challenge that leaders face regardless of their title or position.  Whether you work at home, church or in the marketplace... you will inevitably run into the emotionally wounded sheep.  

 Warning Signs

• The person may withdraw, exhibit passive-aggressive or confrontational behaviour, snap at others out of the blue, be defensive, overly sensitive, needy, critical or divisive.

• You begin to notice that others on your team are complaining or avoiding activities that require interaction with that member. 

• There may be poor attendance on your team or in your group.

• As the leader, you start to experience signs of burn out, exhibit a loss of passion & entertain thoughts to retire early.

• You catch yourself secretly praying that this person moves on to greener pastures elsewhere! 

If any of the above sounds familiar then it could be that there is an emotionally injured sheep in your midst.

I think it is time to be honest and acknowledge that leaders are prone to injury from wounded sheep.

We pour our time, resources and heart to invest in others, which places us in a vulnerable position to also get hurt.  I have sadly seen many great leaders over the years not only burn out, but end up resenting the very people they once loved to serve. 

So, how do leaders avoid becoming the next sheep in need of mending

and...

at the same time follow Ezekiel's call to bring healing to the emotionally wounded?

Here are some things I have been learning along the way...  

The transforming power of prayer. 

Prayer helps to avoid falling into the trap of presuming people will never change. We forget the powerful truth that God delights to heal our innermost hurts and wounds.  In my experience, prayer does not impact the person’s behaviour overnight, but it certainly has transformed my own heart and attitude toward the person who is acting out of their hurt.

Ask the Shepherd 

We are not on our own to figure this out.  God desires to lead His shepherds.

Ask to see the person from God's perspective.
  
Sounds obvious, doesn’t it?  Yet, I can’t tell you the number of times I failed to put this into practice.

Ask God for healing words of life to speak into this situation.

Ask God to reveal the areas where we ourselves require healing.  

What are our own triggers when we are interacting with the wounded sheep?

There are many articles today that speak to the benefit of leaders who have a high emotional intelligence.  One of the attributes of this type of leader is self awareness.  This is a huge asset when leading others, but the trouble with self awareness is... it still relies on ourselves!  Only God can search our hearts and minds to uncover our conscious and unconscious triggers when we engage with others.
  
I remember a number of years ago where I was struggling to lead a person who was quite critical.  Despite the stress, I felt like I was handing the situation quite well by providing context for the things that this person would complain about. 

God, however, had quite a different perspective on the matter.

By the end of our conversation together God had revealed that my goal had been self protection at all cost.  I would respond to the criticism with self-defense and my personal favourite... classic avoidance!

I had been adding to the dysfunction through subtle forms of exclusion through avoidance.  God then began to nudge me to sit next to this person in meetings and listen to the criticism without defending myself or saying a word.

I needed God to uncover what my "self" awareness was not consciously prepared to acknowledge - it was certainly a humbling moment!

Wait
Is this something I need to address or an offense I should overlook? Where and when should I have the conversation? Taking time to respond to the injured helps to avoid reacting out of our own emotional triggers - something I continue to struggle with!

Confide
Surround yourself with a network outside of the situation who will be there to support you as you seek to care for others.

Listen
Jesus was never too busy to listen to the needs of others.  Listening may well be one of the most under-utilized attributes of a leader.  Yet, when the art of listening is put into practice it can be the most valuable and healing resource at your disposal.


Lead With Truth and Grace
Grace certainly does not mean there will not be difficult conversations or outcomes.  When we speak the truth in love we respond for the benefit of the other.  The more we learn to receive and live in the fullness of God's truth and grace the more we will be able to extend it to others. 

Seek and Search
Jesus accepts us in our brokenness, knowing all of our unresolved emotional hang-ups!  He invites us to belong in our brokenness - not when we are perfect.

I believe this is why Ezekiel calls the good shepherd to seek and search for sheep.  Ezekiel 34:16

 
Those with raw exposed emotional wounds are often the ones who struggle to belong.  

I cringe when I think of the embarrassing displays of behaviour from the brokenness in my own life.  Despite my outward behaviour, God remained relentless in seeking after me.  He never gave up on me.  He unconditionally embraced and welcomed me into His fold.

I never had to earn my place back into belonging or contributing.

Should we not extend the same inclusion to those we lead?

I believe when we lead with a shepherd heart...

there will be a tremendous healing power that takes place

 as people are accepted,

 included and belong!

Take courage if you are leading a wounded sheep or if perhaps you are the broken sheep in need of healing. 

After Jesus broke the bread, He gave thanks and not only used the bread for His glory, but He multiplied it in order to nourish His sheep!  

Radical leadership is seeing brokenness as a beautiful opportunity for God to display His glory, to feed and restore His beloved sheep and shepherds.

Stuart Townend The Lord's My Shepherd